Exercising the Creativity Muscle

I had the pleasure of speaking once again to a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group this week. I love the MOPS theme this year!

A FIERCE FLOURISHING.

Fierce = intense, wild, tenacious, determined
Flourishing = thriving, prospering, blooming

When my friend asked me to speak several months ago, and then asked me to choose a topic that fit in with their theme, "creativity" is what came to mind.
Flourishing with Creativity.
Because to me, really thriving doesn't mean following a formula, doing what everyone else is doing, and playing it safe.  Thriving requires imagination. It requires originality and thinking outside of the box and blazing a trail that is true to the creative spark that is within you.
Flourishing requires creativity.

What is creativity?
The dictionary definition is  "the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, etc., and to create meaningful NEW ideas, forms, methods, interpretations,"
ORIGINALITY.
IMAGINATION.

Do you think of yourself as creative?

I bet you are creative and don't even know it.  

• creative in getting your kids to eat vegetables
• creative in stretching a paycheck from one payday to the next
• creative in finding time to be alone with your husband when you have little children in the house
• creative in adapting recipes to your family's unique nutritional needs
• creative in making your home warm, welcoming and comfortable with yard sale finds and  DIY projects 

When you think OUTSIDE THE BOX, when you find NEW and ORIGINAL ways, methods, ideas for dealing with everyday tasks and obstacles, you are being CREATIVE.

Do you know how else I know you are creative?
I know you are creative because GOD is the ultimate Creative Being and He created you in His image!

Genesis 1:1  "In the beginning, God created...."
Genesis 1:27  " So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

Just think about the enormity and beauty and variety of God's Creation!!  Think about it.
He could have made everything black and white.
He could have made all food taste the same.
He could have made just one kind of flower.
But he didn't.  He was lavish and bold and expressive in his creation!

Young children are extremely creative.  Anyone with a toddler has been amazed at the ingenuity displayed when he pushed a box up to a chair so he could climb on the counter to get to the shelf where you hid the Oreo cookies behind the box of brown rice.   How many moms have walked back  into a room that they had just left a few minutes earlier, surveyed the disaster and thought, "I never would have thought of doing that!" ?   Creative geniuses, I tell you!
Think of the imagination that is typical of children under age 5. Imaginary friends, dress up costumes, blanket forts,  made-up songs, stories of dinosaurs and princesses and pirates and aliens, tea parties with stuffed animals.

Do you know that measures of creativity and imaginative thinking fall drastically once a child starts school?

"Sir Ken Robinson, chair of the UK Government's report on creativity, education and the economy, cites a longitudinal study on divergent thinking given to a group of 1600 children starting in the late 1960's.  When first administered to the group of 3-5 year olds, 98% of the children scored in the "genius" range for creative thinking.  Five years later, the same group was tested again and only 32% scored in the top tier for creativity.  Another five years and the number dropped to 10%.   When adults were given the same battery of tests, only 2% received top scores for divergent  thinking, or "the ability to see lots of possible answers to a question".   This is the result of more than just "growing up".  It is the result of an educational system that overly focuses  on tests, conformity, following the rules, and getting the right answer, and discourages imagination, individuality, and risk-taking. 

Another killer of creativity is the lack of unstructured time to play.  Children need to daydream, come up with their own entertainment, and make their own rules, yet between school and structured activities in the evenings and weekends, children have precious little free time that is theirs to use as they wish.

WHY IS CREATIVITY IMPORTANT?
According to various researchers, practicing creativity improves both emotional and physical health, not just in children, but in adults too!

• increases feelings of positivity and well-being
• reduces stress and anxiety ( which contribute to obesity, cardiovascular disease, and other health problems)
• improves ability to resolve conflict
• increases self-confidence and sense of purpose
• increases spontaneity  
• increases earning power
• improves social networking

What mom doesn't want these things for her children and also for herself?!

You can do some things to make your home a place that fosters and nurtures your child's creativity, natural curiosity, and sense of adventure.

• engage your children in regular discussion, asking open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no"
• read lots of stories and poetry; act out stories; make up stories.
• listen to music; dance to music; create music.
•  limit screen time to 2 hours per day or less
• encourage free play - outdoors when possible!
• let your children help you in the kitchen
• provide SPACE  and TIMES and SUPPLIES for crafts and artistic expression -  lots of kinds of paper, crayons, markers, paints & brushes, scissors, old magazines, glue sticks, yarn, paper punches, stickers, play dough, glitter, feathers, chenille stems;  ***not just craft KITS or paint by numbers that control how to arrive at a pre-determined outcome - that teaches following directions, but doesn't exercise the imagination
• look for toys and activities that exercise the imagination;  a coloring book is fun but a pad of colored paper or an endroll of newsprint is even better!  puzzles, various kinds of building blocks, cardboard boxes of assorted sizes,  puppets, musical instruments, dress up clothes and accessories, books

Now this is IMPORTANT advice from a veteran mom.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF MESSES. 

Seriously, get over it.
Creativity can be quite messy. But messes can be cleaned up.  
Buy 2 plastic tablecloths and put one on top of the table and one under that table.  Dress your kids in old ripped t shirts.  Kids and tablecloths can both be hosed off when they are done. 
Teach your kids a "Clean Up Song", and after they are done playing in the blanket fort in the living room, everyone sings and puts back the couch cushions, kitchen chairs, bedding, etc. 
Do not sacrifice your child's physical and emotional development and health for a clean house!
Enough said.


What about you?  It is never too late to exercise your "creativity muscle", and get it back in shape!
I know that sometimes even thinking about adding one more thing to your day can lead to a meltdown. But it might be that you can just adjust something you already do. Or maybe letting something in your routine go and carving a sliver of time for a creative activity that will bring you joy and a host of other benefits might be a worthwhile trade-off for your and your family's well-being!  

• garden
• write -  letters, a blog, a journal, an article, a novel
• draw - in a bible, in an art journal, on envelopes, with your kids
• make homemade cards & gifts
• experiment in the kitchen with new recipes and foods
• play that musical instrument that is collecting dust, or learn a new one
• redesign your laundry system so it works more efficiently
• sew, quilt, knit, crochet,
• decorate a room in your house

Remember, when you think OUTSIDE THE BOX, when you find NEW and ORIGINAL ways, methods, ideas for dealing with everyday tasks and obstacles, you are being CREATIVE. 

 Another benefit of creative activities is the ability to bless others with the fruit of your labors.  You are typically "producing" something that you can share.  This turns what might be a solitary activity into something that touches the lives of others, building community.

Now, being creative can be hard work.  Children and adults both, especially those of us who tend to be perfectionists,  can be very critical of their efforts and inclined to give up easily. This is where encouragement is so important.  If you want to be better at gardening or drawing or growing vegetables or playing the guitar, you must PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.   When I ask my runner friends why I can't run from my driveway to the end of the street without feeling like I'm going to die, their answer is that I need to start slow and build up my muscles.  It isn't because God didn't give me "running ability". I have the ability to run, I just haven't used those muscles in so long that they are very rusty.  I may never be a marathoner or Olympic runner, but I could stretch those muscles and strengthen those muscles and enjoy running, even a little bit, for the exercise and health benefits.  The same is true of any creative endeavor.  You have the ability to develop enough skill for your own personal enjoyment, and don't have to compare yourself to anyone else!
Comparison is the thief of  joy! 

WHAT YOU FEED GETS STRONGER, AND WHAT YOU STARVE GETS WEAKER. 

Sir Ken Robinson "Do Schools Kill Creativity?"

Babies Don't Keep

I do calligraphy, and made this many years ago as a reminder. It sits on the hutch in my kitchen and is still a reminder, but now of my lack of regret over time spent with my babies as they grew up.

 

Some Changes That Come When Children Grow Up

Our friends, the Nemitzes, had their 2nd annual (thanks to Emily, home from college and wanting to see everyone!) Thanksgiving Weekend Bonfire on Saturday, and a few of us moms were discussing some of the changes that have occurred in our families as our children are growing up. My friend Tracy was commenting on how her oldest, who is almost 18, has a job this year, plus basketball practice 4 days a week, plus a few other commitments, which means she is rarely at home - something Tracy was not prepared for before high school graduation! She suddenly realized how much her two children did together for school, and now her son was left floundering a bit without his sister around so much. Another friend was talking about her son's first (not very pleasant) foray into the world of dating. There are a lot of new things to deal with that make us moms of older children look very nostalgically back on the days of sippy cups and multiplication tables.

Most of my homeschool friends whose children have grown and left for college or jobs have said the same thing. They were unprepared for how much they would MISS them!  It is a huge adjustment, because for years we have had them around pretty much all day, every day! Sometimes, even the older ones who still physically live at home are so much in their own independent world that they are still "missing" from the family.  One friend half-jokingly suggested that we start a support group for homeschool moms of grown children, to help work through the transition to "retirement".

Not only do we miss having our children around, but we also lose that "extended family" of their close friends.  Many of my children's friends are like part of our family, and I miss seeing them at ballgames or co-op or the other activities that were part of our regular routine.  Thankfully, I can still stalk keep connected with many of them on Facebook.


Another real issue as your children grow up is how to handle holidays and vacations. It has been hard on my older children as well as on me to have them miss family camping trips or visits up north to see grandparents and relatives. It used to be that the whole family would make the annual trip to Massachusetts each summer to visit the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  But this past summer only 1 of my 5 children made the trip.  It makes me very sad to think that my children might now go years without seeing their grandparents.  I think it is even sadder because I see myself getting closer to that time of life when I may not get to see my own children for extended periods of time. It has already happened with my oldest son, who is on his 2nd year-long deployment overseas with the Army, thus missing another Thanksgiving and Christmas with our family.


I know my mother went through this, as has every mother since the beginning of time. Transitions are tough. There's just nothing easy about it. To all you moms with little ones who can't wait for them to grow up -  be careful what you wish for.
It will come all too soon.

Kit Kat Krispie Treats

For Co-op class last week, Jason had to create an original recipe using candy bars as an ingredient. His Kit Kat Krispie Treats were a great success!  Simple to make, they are a chocolate-y good variation on traditional Rice Krispie Treats.

1/4 cup ( 1/2 stick ) butter
1 10-oz bag (about 40) marshmallows
6 cups Cocoa Krispies cereal
2 cups chopped Kit Kat candy bars ( about 6 regular size)

Butter a 16 x 9-in. baking dish.  In a large stockpot, melt the butter over low heat.  Add the marshmallows and stir until melted.  Add the cereal, stirring a few times  to coat, and then add the chopped Kit Kat bars, continuing to stir to coat. Pour /scrape mixture out of the pot into the buttered baking dish and press down with buttered spoon or buttered fingers ( my preferred method ).  If desired, melt 1 cup chocolate chips in the microwave and spread over the top. Set aside to cool. 
Cut into squares.  Enjoy the gooey, sweet, crunchy, chocolate-y results!  :-)

Sarah's photography website

My daughter Sarah, a recent college graduate with a degree in photography, has updated her photography website. I think her work is stunning... and I'm not biased at all!!! haha
Anyway, you can see for yourself here.

Coming to Terms with Reality

Cleaning out my pantry / craft closet is causing me to come to terms with the reality that... I don't have little children anymore.  We have graduated from Crayola watercolors and ALEX chunky paintbrushes to Windsor-Newton watercolor tubes and expensive brushes. My kids rarely use crayons anymore ( although my 22 yr old has her own Disney Princess coloring book and box of crayons ) The playdough tools, colored pipecleaners, popsicle sticks, toilet paper tubes, and tempera paint aren't getting much use anymore, so I guess it is time to clear those things out and replace them with the charcoal pencils, pastels, and grown up art supplies that we are using these days.  The matchbox cars and action figures can go up in the attic, to join the wooden train set, Bitty Baby doll, and dress up clothes.   My baby is almost 12 years old. I don't have little children anymore.   

A World Without Kids

Does it seem that some people would like to live in a world without kids? Those who scowl, roll their eyes, grimace, or run the other way then they see a mother with one or more babies/ toddlers/ children in tow in a public place - grocery store, airport, restaurant... as if they have a right to a tidy world with no noise, interruption, aggravation, or inconvenience! HELLO, but the most noisy, aggravating, annoying people I generally encounter in public are NOT children. I read this article responding to recent publicity about children and/or moms with babies being harrassed on airplanes, and my response was - AMEN, SISTER!

"Protect Me From the Grown-Ups"

Mark 9:36-37 He [Jesus] took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

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Where Do Four Year Olds Belong?

"More 4-year-olds in North Carolina will soon spend an extra year in preschool, in day care or, some fear, sitting in front of the television watching cartoons.
That's because, beginning in 2009, a new state law will require most children to wait until they are 5 before they start kindergarten in public schools. The proposal won final legislative approval Thursday, and Gov. Mike Easley said he will sign the measure into law."

This was the lead into an article in today's Raleigh News & Observer on a new NC law moving the school cut-off age from Oct. 16 to Aug. 31. Now if I was writing this article, I would have started it like this. "More 4-year-olds in North Carolina will soon spend an extra year safely at home with their mother, playing dress up, building blanket forts, learning to do chores, and singing silly songs..."

The article cited education experts who talked of the disadvantage of mixing 4 year olds with 6 year olds in the same kindergarten classroom, saying that the new law should result in higher test scores and lower teacher frustration. Oh my goodness! No mention of the fact that four year olds need moms, not schools! They need time to play and explore, to rest and take a nap, to snuggle in loving arms for a story, to watch birds and bugs and flowers in the yard. But the article went on to quote a parent bemoaning the fact that the new law will burden families with increased child-care costs.

Patrice Thompson thinks the new law is a bad idea. The Raleigh mother, whose 6-year-old daughter finished kindergarten this year, said the earlier birthday cutoff will cause more families such as hers to spend money on an additional year of child care.
"Paying child care is no joke," Thompson said.

I find it sad that schools are viewed as free day care centers; wouldn't it be just so much more convenient if schools would take kids from birth, so parents wouldn't have to make all these other arrangements for their care? How is it that the very notion of parents as caretakers, nurturers, and teachers of our children seems to be lost on our society? Perhaps there should be more workshops and education programs aimed at helping parents understand their God-given role as moms and dads.

The article ended with another disturbing statement:

Bryant said the law would do the most harm to children from low-income families who have not had proper health care or had limited access to books and other educational tools in their early years. Bryant said school systems need to work with these children as soon as possible. Although more affluent parents will be able to work with their children during the extra year, she said, many other students will be out of luck.

Since when is money required to nurture a child? This is just a bunch of baloney! I realize that there are adults out there who , for whatever reason, do not embrace their role as parents and leave their kids to fend for themselves. However, to suggest that "more affluent parents will be able to work with their children", and therefore that less affluent parents will not, is highly insulting! There are plenty of parents living in very humble circumstances who read to their kids, take them to the park, teach them their ABCs, kneel with them to say their prayers, teach them to be polite and kind to others. Being wealthy doesn't equate to being a good parent!

It is time that society started expecting more of parents! Expecting them to take care of their children, to teach their children, to be there for their children. And then respecting them for doing it! We can start by sending the message that home - a good, loving, nurturing home - is the best place for children to be.

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