Regrets, I Have a Few - Investing in Family

The kids are growing up. They don't all live here any more.  It gets harder and harder to get the whole family together, and when they are all home, what do we do?

Looking back, I have some regrets. We invested lots of time and energy in raising our children, in homeschooling them, in building strong relationships and family memories. I wish we had invested more in making our home a welcoming gathering spot for our kids and their friends.  Friends have always been welcome in our home, and I love preparing food and having people here. We have had some great games of UNO and Spoons at our kitchen table.  But we have not made the investments in our house and yard that would provide space and entertainment for young people and adults to congregate and enjoy hanging out.  Our yard is full of weeds and holes , with only a lone basketball goal that has branches hanging in front of it.  Our deck is small and wobbly, with a single lounge chair.  We have a nice TV and video game systems. We have board games and cards. That's about it.

We have taken trips as a family that have created some wonderful memories - to Disney World, Williamsburg, Mammoth Caves, Washington, DC, annual trips to Massachusetts to visit family, and a 6-week cross-country camping trip to see the scenic wonders of the western U.S.   But now that my kids are older, I wish we had taken some of that money and put in a swimming pool, a volleyball court, horseshoes, a game room, a bocce court.   I wish there was something HERE that would attract my grown children to want to invite their friends to hang out, or would be a fun way to spend a day with their siblings, rather than wracking our brains to think of someplace we can GO  that everyone enjoys and that fits in everyone's schedule.

This was my dream when our kids were small. I always wanted to have a big house that would be the hub for my children  and all their friends.  I wanted OUR house to be the place where everyone wanted to be.   But the "dream" never turned into a "plan".  It never became a priority.

And now here we are.  My 26-year-old is here from TX to visit for a week, and then he is going overseas and we won't see him for at least a year.  My 12-yr-old is at basketball day camp during the week, and the 23 yr old, 21yr old, and 17 yr old are all working at an overnight summercamp,, and will only be home for the weekend.  So that gives us one day, Saturday, to spend together as a family.  My kids LIKE to spend time together as a family.  Our years of homeschooling have at least built that strong foundation. But what do we do?  We thought of going to a water park or beach or amusement park for the day, but he also wants to be able to visit old college friends in the evening. All those things are a couple of hours away and need a whole day , so that doesn't work.  

It would have been nice if we could have had a cook-out and invited people over to swim or play volleyball or bocce or whatever.  That would have made an earlier investment of time and money well worth it.

My husband wants  the two of us to splurge and go to Hawaii for our 30th wedding anniversary next year. While that sounds like fun and I'd love to visit Hawaii, once that money is spent and that trip is over, we have nothing but the memories.    I would rather put that money toward something that we can enjoy over and over again and that our family could enjoy too.  Maybe a hot tub.

Frugal Homeschooling

The topic of our most recent homeschool support group [Lighthouse] meeting was "Frugal Homeschooling". Most homeschoolers live on one income, although many homeschool moms do part-time work to supplement that. Other families find that cutting coupons, shopping in consignment stores, and bartering helps provide the extra resources needed for homeschooling.
Nowadays, with so many family breadwinners out of work completely, it is even more important to find ways to cut costs. But the good news is, there are many inexpensive and even free resources available, thanks to the internet and community networks, which allow you to provide a rich and individualized education for your children without losing your shirt in the process!
Here are some of those resources that one mom shared at our meeting:

Online resources – complete curriculum
www.amblesideonline.org– a Charlotte Mason method using many free online resources
www.oldfashionededucation.com– free online curriculum organized by grade level or subject
http://www.classical-homeschooling.org/v2/index.php?page=3– Christine Miller’s website

Used or discounted curriculum
www.homeschoolclassifieds.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/curriculumexchange/- Curriculum Exchange of Wake County, NC
http://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/


Curriculum Reviews
www.cathyduffyreviews.com
www.homeschoolreviews.com

Freebies
www.currclick.com– has a free item each week; also click the Free Stuff icon
www.homeschoolfreebieoftheday.com– a new free item daily
Many homeschool curriculum suppliers have freebies on their websites, such as a free lapbook or notebooking pages. Some of them offer a free resource if you sign up for their newsletter. You can unsubscribe later if you find your email getting out of control.

Downloadable books and audio resources
www.books.google.com– when you do a search, click on full view only on the left side; most items that allow full view are out-of-copyright and can be downloaded in .pdf format; you can download numerous old textbooks such as McGuffeys or Elson Readers, Harvey’s Grammar, Rays Arithmetic, history books by such authors as Helene Guerber and James Baldwin, nature books by Jean-Henri Fabre, and MUCH MORE!
www.librivox.org– free audio books
iTunes University – Download iTunes, then click on the link for the itunes store to find free podcasts including resources for preschoolers to adult.

Other
www.chartjungle.com
www.homefires.com/clickschool- links to some of the best online educational resources; sign up for a daily email

Many museums and government websites have kids sites that are excellent.
There are yahoo groups for many curricula where users can share ideas and additional resources.

Swapping and Bartering
Look for opportunities to exchange tutoring, lessons, or non-homeschooling services in exchange for services. For example, two of my friends traded lit/writing lessons in exchange for math lessons by having their kids spend the day with the other family once a week, giving each mom a “free day” to run errands, etc.

Library
If you don’t live in Wake County, it is well worth the $25 annual fee for a nonresident card. You can use the online catalog and have your items shipped to the branch nearest to you so that you can just run in to drop off and pick up books. Interlibrary Loan is now available online so that you don’t have to go to the library to complete the form. The book I currently have checked out via ILL sells for $150 on Amazon. Check out the online database – you can access Consumer Reports, and all sorts of academic and professional resources.

Homemade Math manipulatives
Numeracy – Egg carton and beans or buttons – use a sharpie to write a number in each hole, then have the child count out the correct number of beans or buttons to put in each hole.
Base ten set – popsicle sticks – rubber band 10 together, then 10 sets of 10 to make 100, then 10 sets of 100 to make 1000
Print from internet or make in excel – 100 board, multiplication tables, number lines
Triangle flash cards – print from www.donnayoung.org onto cardstock paper and cut apart
See www.montessorimaterials.org for ideas for manipulatives for all subjects, not just math

Treasures

I read this in a Devotional this morning...

Every day, according to one survey, Americans buy an average of 3,972,603 movie tickets; 1,683,835 songs and albums from online resources; 1,650,000 DVD rentals from Netflix; 978,030 bags of Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet popcorn; 568,764 Titleist golf balls; 443,650 large fries at Burger King; 160,968 bottles of Absolut Vodka; 7,500 Samsung LCD TVs; and 60 Ford Mustangs on eBay. It’s clear from this incomplete list that many consumers are spending money on things that have temporary stamped on them. Jesus, however, says that we should use our resources to acquire things that have eternity written all over them.

In Matthew 6, He identifies two types of treasures. The first are the ones accumulated on earth. These treasures are vulnerable to all kinds of decay and theft. .... The alternative is treasures in heaven. Now Jesus was not saying we can buy our way into heaven. He was simply calling us to simplify our lives and leverage our time and resources for the sake of people in need (Matthew 19:21; 1 Timothy 6:17-19). When we, with pure motives (Matthew 6:1-4), give up our lives and resources for the marginalized, we’re “storing up” treasures in heaven.

And this made me think of these statements I've heard or read...

• Wow! Adoption is soooo expensive!
• Local food pantries are struggling to meet needs; donations are down
• You can sponsor a child through Compassion International for $38/month; almost 2000 children are waiting for sponsors
  
• churches and ministries such as Focus on the Family and Family Life are facing budget shortfalls for the year

I know you could add to that list. There is a saying that you can tell a person's priorities by looking at his checkbook. What does my checkbook say about my priorities? Does my "walk" match my "talk"?