Don't Lose Sight of the Forest for the Trees

This is especially for new or new-ish homeschoolers.

One thing I encourage all new homeschoolers to do is to write a paragraph stating your reasons for homeschooling. You likely have given this a good amount of thought at some point, and may have a "list" in your head. It is important to write it down and keep it someplace where you can refer to it from time to time.... because you will forget!!
 ~in the midst of winter when you are snowed in and everyone is sick,
~in the midst of struggles with learning to read or figuring out fractions or convincing your son that punctuation is necessary, 
~in the midst of trying to manage laundry and sports practices and grocery shopping and lesson plans,
~ in the midst of frustrating days and sleepless nights, 
you will hear yourself saying "Why did I think this was a good idea?" and YOU WILL NEED TO REMIND YOURSELF. 

Many years ago a speaker at the NCHE Homeschool Conference told this story, and it has stuck with me. This woman was head of a support organization in CA, and they required all their families to submit a statement of their reasons for homeschooling. One day a homeschool mom came to her, very discouraged, saying that after getting back her children's standardized test scores, she and her husband had decided the children were not doing as well as they'd hoped and that the kids would probably be better off in school. The leader pulled out the written statement that this family had submitted when they started homeschooling, and read it over for a minute.

 "You say you are disappointed with your children's test scores and think they should be back in school. But I don't see high test scores anywhere on this list of reasons you gave for wanting to homeschool in the first place. This is what you wrote."

And she handed the paper to the mom to read. The statement included things like growing up in a safe environment, building strong family relationships, having freedom to teach from a Christian worldview and include God in their daily lessons, protecting their children's innocence and allowing them to learn at their own pace and to develop their God-given abilities using materials that fit their individual learning styles.

"Have these things changed? Are your children still benefiting from the things you wrote here?"

 The mother admitted that she had lost sight of those reasons, and perhaps the standardized tests were not the most important part of this whole picture. She left much encouraged, with a copy of her written statement to show her husband.

There is an old adage, "Don't lose sight of the forest for the trees."
Keep the big picture in mind, and don't let one small detail or struggle derail you.

Reasons NOT to Homeschool

There are quite a few lists of reasons for homeschooling. But if you are considering homeschooling, you should also be aware that there are some reasons why you should NOT homeschool as well. Here are four. 

1. You do not like to spend time with your children.  
Seems like a no-brainer, right?  But if you don't like being around your children, then homeschooling will be most difficult for you and probably not good for them either.  Before you attempt homeschooling, spend time in prayer and study, asking the Lord to turn your heart back to your family, from wherever it has been drawn instead. And perhaps seek the help of a counselor. Spending time with your children should make you happy. It should be a source of JOY. At least most of the time. 

2. You don't want to change anything about your present lifestyle. 
This might not seem quite so obvious, but homeschooling is a huge change of lifestyle from what most people are used to.  It requires flexibility, sacrifice, and dedication. It requires time, finances, effort, and prayer.  If you are not willing to give it your all, then you should probably look at other options for educating your children.  However if you are willing to go all in, you will find there are great rewards to living a homeschool lifestyle. (see lists of Reasons to Homeschool here, here,and here) 

3. You think you should homeschool because your friend, neighbor, sister, pastor is homeschooling. 
If you start homeschooling because you feel guilted into it or pressured into it because people around you are homeschooling, then you are going to struggle. It is not enough just to think it might be a good idea. You must believe in your own heart that this is the BEST choice for your family.  You will face opposition at some point - from extended family, media, the church, friends, strangers. You will doubt yourself and wonder what in the world you were thinking!  How will you respond? 

4. Your husband or wife is strongly opposed to the idea. 
You never want homeschooling to put a wedge into your relationship with your spouse.  Spend time researching, discussing pros and cons, visiting other homeschooling families. Pray for unity. A strong marriage is the foundation for a strong family and is vital for the success of your homeschool.  If you are a single parent, you are in a different situation, and I believe the Lord provides grace to compensate for the missing parent. 

Homeschooling is the easiest, most natural thing in the world. You have been your child's teacher from birth; you can continue to learn right alongside your children throughout their childhood all the way into young adulthood.
BUT
Homeschooling is the hardest, most challenging thing you will ever do.  

No one knows and loves your child like you do, or wants more for their future.
BUT
No one can drive you crazy like your own child! He knows all the "buttons" to push and will challenge you and push the boundaries. 

Homeschooling provides a flexible schedule, which allows you to work lessons around other activities, take days off when you want to, do volunteer work, etc.
BUT  
There are not enough hours in the day to fit in everything you and your child would like to do. Be very careful to guard your time at home and be mindful of how much activity your family can handle. Set priorities for this season in your life. Learn to say "No" for now to those things that do not line up with those priorities. 


We are blessed to live in a time and in an area with so many opportunities and resources available for homeschooling families.  There are support groups, classes, co-ops, sports teams, debate teams, choirs, bands, seminars, clubs, camps.  There are online classes and curriculums. There are companies selling every imaginable book, game, program, or tool you might want. 
BUT
All these things have a COST in money and time. A homeschool family's budget gets stretched mighty thin.  There are always choices that have to be made.  Guard against DISCONTENTMENT with your financial situation.  The homeschool community is great at sharing resources, and homeschoolers are known for their creativity, cooperation and ingenuity when it comes to seeking out and creating affordable opportunities for their families.  Really consider what are NEEDS versus WANTS.  

Here is another post of reasons not to homeschool, by one of my favorite homeschool bloggers/speakers/authors, Heidi St. John.

Another well-know blogger/author,  Ree Drummond, aka The Pioneer Woman, has posted her 3 reasons not to homeschool here.

****
  For a list of 50 Reasons Why Homeschooled Kids Love Being Homeschooled, check out this post by Kris Bales  at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. 


Blessings.


 

The Homeschool Mentor #1: 5 Reasons to Homeschool

men·tor

noun

1.

an experienced and trusted adviser.

synonyms:

adviser, guide, guru, counselor, consultant

I love being a mentor to new homeschool moms and  to younger women in general.    It is one of the good things about "getting older.  I led a mentor group of 8 new homeschool moms this fall, and really enjoyed getting to know them and sharing information from the mentor manual, Home Education 101, byVicki Bentley,  as well as from my nearly 20 years of experience as home educator.
It dawned on me that I could share those things here on my blog as well.  So here we have a new series of posts: The Homeschool Mentor.

First up:  Reasons to Homeschool

A quick Google search will bring up many, many lists of reasons to homeschool, as well as few lists of reasons NOT to homeschool.  My list won't be unique, but nonetheless, here is MY list of some reasons to homeschool.

1. INDIVIDUALITY.  Each child is uniquely and wonderfully made, with individual strengths, weaknesses, talents, and challenges.  It is a common observation among parents to see a young child who is bubbling with enthusiasm, energy, curiosity, and excitement for learning when they start school become increasingly discouraged, disinterested and distressed as time goes by. Just as not all babies are ready to walk or talk at exactly the same time,  so children are not ready to read or write or learn fractions at exactly the same time.  Homeschooling lets you go slowly or speed things up, depending on the needs and readiness of each child. The ability to individualize a child's education according to his learning style  and particular talents is  a tremendous benefit, and something that a classroom teacher cannot do.  The institutional nature of traditional schools, with emphasis on conformity and test scores,  is stifling instead of inspiring. The social atmosphere in schools does not nurture children's individuality and make them feel safe and secure, but instead fosters conformity and cliques  and a battle for survival of the fittest and most popular.  Parents rationalize the suffering of their children as "part of life", "a necessary evil", "learning to deal with reality", etc.   Allowing your children to grow up free from that kind of pressure and stress is a wonderful gift, and I believe it will make them stronger, not weaker, in the long run.

2.  STRONG FAMILY.  A family that spends every day learning together builds strong connections. Part of the teaching that a homeschool parent must do also involves dealing with conflict, respecting one another, showing kindness, developing patience, etc., but these lessons have life-long benefits!  My five children, spanning 13 years  from oldest to youngest, are all great friends and enjoy spending time together as adults.  They also like coming home and being with us... and they often bring friends with them who enjoy the laid-back, fun-loving, affectionate  atmosphere of our home

3. FAITH and VALUES.   Everyone has them, everyone teaches them.  There is no such thing as value-neutral education.  Every curriculum writer, every author, every teacher, every administrator has a worldview, which is simply a set of assumptions about what is true and right, and that will come through in what information is presented and how it is presented in a lesson.  Everyone has a set of values and everyone puts their hope and faith in SOMETHING.  Educators, books, experiences, peers - all these things have a mighty influence on the development of a child's values and worldview, and home education allows parents to choose materials, teachers, and experiences that will nurture and develop the values of the family, rather than of the "school" or of "society".

4. FREEDOM.  Embracing the homeschool lifestyle is intensely freeing. It is "outside-the box".  Your family's schedule is your own, and not dictated by a school.  You decide what time to get up in the morning, when to go on vacation, how long to spend on a lesson. You can spend the entire day reading aloud from a great novel or watching historical DVDs.  You can do school 4 days a week or 6 days a week.  You choose the books and materials that appeal to you and your children, and adapt them however works best for you! You can make volunteer work or missions work part of your school curriculum, or focus on the arts this semester and the sciences next semester, or do schoolwork at the beach or on the back porch or under a blanket fort.  It is true that each state has its own requirements, and some  are more restrictive or demanding than others.  But homeschooling is not just "school at home", and can look and feel VERY different from institutional schooling, and produce wonderfully intelligent, creative, compassionate and interesting adults!

5. GIFT OF CHILDHOOD.  Children today are expected to "grow up" so quickly, and the hours spent in school plus a typical busy family schedule leaves little time for imaginative play, for just being a kid!  My adult children express gratitude for their childhood, and for the fact that they had time to play, explore, investigate, and dream.  TV and video game time was limited. Craft materials were readily available and mess-making was okay. School lessons were broken up by breaks for outdoor or indoor play.  Blanket forts, homemade play dough, building blocks and LEGOs, American Girl dolls and stuffed toys, Polly Pockets, baseball trading cards, Matchbox cars, board games,  musical instruments, Nerf guns, the costume box featured prominently in our daily life.   Entertainment - television, movies, music - was chosen carefully.  They may have heard of them, but there were no posters on the bedroom walls of pop stars, pro-athletes, or teen heart-throbs.  Innocence was protected and valued. We read fairy tales and biographies and classic stories - stories of  heroes and heroines, both real and imaginary,  who possessed courage, fortitude, compassion, conviction.  We baked cookies, went on interesting field trips, volunteered at a nursing home and food pantry, went to the library, spent time with friends.  Homeschooling allowed my husband and I to shelter our children in a good way, and give them a variety of rich and memorable experiences.